What’s in a name? Everyone has a first name that they
were given by their birth parents.
Most people keep that name from day one, and it stays with them until the
day they die. Occasionally, people
change their name, maybe first and last, because they didn’t feel like the name
really fit them, or maybe it did fit them but they wanted to be someone
different. Other times, people can
get nick-names that other people give them at different times in their life
based on quirks they have, or physical characteristics, or embarrassing
experiences that have now defined you in another person’s life. Or, maybe we give ourselves names because of how we feel about ourselves and how we see our value in this world based on how
others treat us.
It’s easy for me to establish my
value & identity on what I hear others say about me and how social media
tends to dictate what I should value, and even, if I have any value. So easy, that I knew
I had to make a change. At the
beginning of 2017, I reached a point where I was dissatisfied enough with the
messages around me and about me that I knew that I needed to turn them
off. This led to really minimizing
my presence on Facebook to almost nothing, but I also knew that I had to make
other changes as well. Most of my
life I’ve been overweight....because of my own eating choices and decisions not to push
myself to exercise. I’ve never
really been a very athletic person nor have I maintained any interest in team
sports since my soccer days in elementary school. Once I got into a routine of laziness and over-eating, that routine has been seemingly impossible to break. Which is where I was in January of this year. I was at the heaviest I had ever been
and the year in front of me seemed like there was no plan to be any different.
But since September, we had been studying a book by Max Lucado called “Grace” in the small group with our church, and it had been speaking to me.
I thought I knew about the importance of showing grace to others in my
life but there was one thing I had been missing. Did I think I was worthy of God’s grace in my life? Was I
really accepting God’s grace in my life?
Who was I? It’s that last
question that has really captured my attention and caused me to examine things
in my life. It came down to
realizing just how much God loves me for who I am right now and how much he has
planned for my life! You see, part
of getting overweight and staying overweight is the idea of failure. I thought I was a failure and always
would be a failure because when I would try to exercise and eat a little
better, the power of food (which is what I took comfort in) and encounters with
soreness and joint pain always won out.
So, I guess I was just always meant to be overweight and lazy, right?
No…not at all. When I started to really think about
how much God loves me everyday, no matter what, is when I knew this wasn’t what
or who I was. If I made a mistake,
so what, God still loves me. “But
it’s too hard!” I would say.
Again, no. Because God
loves me, he will give me the strength to succeed. So I started to really cut back on the amount I was eating
and started eating healthier. I spent weeks trying to figure out what healthy
foods agree and don’t agree with my weird digestive system (still fine tuning
this) and I stopped shoving all the sugar and fat in my mouth all the
time. And I started moving....walking early in the morning, then biking some too, then training the
right way for two 5K’s I signed up for in a little over a month. In the midst of joint pain from my
body getting used to all this activity, waking up in the middle of the
night with leg cramps from exercising, learning the hard way that I
need to stretch better, and learning how to workout with a sprained ankle (because apparently I still don’t know how to walk down stairs sometimes), I
start to feel better, start to lose the weight that has been building up for
the last 20 + years, and start to realize that I am not who the world tells me
I am. I am the creation that God made me and I can do ANYTHING in the grace He
gives me each and every day. Just as God has allowed be to make extraordinary changes in my life in over the
last three month, I know that when I wake up tomorrow I will know who I am and
Who I belong to………and I will press on.